Oh my dear, what a challenging time at the moment.
I said Goodbye to my tribe, all the women I loved and still love dearly and where I felt held and understood to follow my heart desire, which is writing.
Making decisions takes a lot of courage and it can be painful, challenging.
I feel that my rawness is showing up every single moment. I could realize that as soon as I made the decision, there was room for my oppressed feelings and patterns to come out. It’s like with this making a decision I invited a lot of other patterns to be more visible and to look at them and make a decision whether to keep or not. Everything in my life is really unpredictable at the moment. My actions and decisions are unpredictable. I have got the feeling with all the time keeping me busy I had avoided looking at some repeating patterns in my life. Now I have mixed feelings pain paired with shame and even if it sounds strange, the more emotions are coming up the more love I start feeling for myself. It is as if with keeping me busy or always asking others to tell me who I am I have tried everything to disconnect with myself.
My heart is acting and feeling in another way.
I always used to rely on my mind and kept controlling everything. Now I am invited to let go of control and to embrace my mind with gentle love. Most of the time I am invited to open my heart.
I am grateful for all the love I can feel. I welcome this time of being raw, like a sculptress creating a new shape of myself.