I did it.
I resigned from my job.
I cannot believe that it took so many posts until I came to this point.
This was and still is a major step for me. I did not realize that I would shiver so much whilst walking my path. I knew that freedom was more important for me than everything else, but still could not do it.
Resigning stirred up a lot of emotions deep inside me.
I felt a relief that I finally made the decision.
On the other hand emotions like “I am not good enough” kept jumping into my mind all the time.
For a while those ghosts who constantly told me that I was a “failure” accompanied me and I thought that they were right.
This is what happens to me quite often that I make a really big decision and quite after a short while an inner dialogue starts, listing all my “failures” and I spent time listening BECAUSE I always did.
It took me so much time to set myself free, only to fall into my inner limiting thinking again.
Whenever I fall into this mood again I try to see myself as a hero, wrap myself into shining light and anchor this image in my body.
It is so easy that I forget how much effort and courage it took.
I really tend to fall into de-pression and put so much pressure on myself.
So I finally know that it will take some time for me to heal from this work-experience.
At the same time I am so proud that I took the opportunity to leave, to be open for new adventures to come.
Like the wonderful flower from our neighbor, blossoming in our garden!